Wine O'Clock

Day 4 of 7X7 and I'm making it quick. Like really quick.

I'll give you 3 good things that happened today before I switch personalities:

-Emi's spontaneous laughter is always good
-Lincoln told me "I need to poop" and pooped on the potty for the 2nd day in a row < the milestone being the fact that he told me he needed to go.
-Lincoln made me laugh by suddenly running from the teen room all the way into my bathroom to get my cleansing brush and pretend to shave his legs. Just because the urge struck him.

*FLIPS SWITCH*

I didn't get any sleep last night and not because of the baby. I pretty much have angel children, so a night with no sleep is something I am not used to. Now it's only 60% my fault for staying up late on the computer editing. But, Lincoln woke up last night at 2:45 and then at 4:30 Emi wakes up to nurse but I *still* couldn't fall asleep so I was laying there. Then somehow I started dozing and something was tickling my brain but I wasn't sure what. When I came to something felt off and I realized Lincoln was laying next to me. It really kind of freaked me out. I never heard a thing and there he was. He was nearly laying on Emi! I had to move her and get in between them. I should have known better than to let him stay there, but at the time I noticed him he was actually asleep and I thought it would be sweet to snuggle my kids in bed. WRONG, because of course that didn't last and between then and 8:30 Lincoln was awake and flopping around whining for boobs every.5.seconds. I have never been so tempted to cut him off cold turkey as I was today. I was getting really mad every time sharp little finger nails came around clawing into my shirt. Why are little nails SO sharp??

Apparently when I don't sleep at all I don't have a very long fuse and neither does Lincoln. I would say today was the roughest day yet in parenting. Combine no sleep with my still lingering cold and the fact that Joe's at the unit and I just want to whine like a toddler too... man, I give major kudos to the moms who take care of more kids by themselves for longer than a week. I think I would lock myself in the closet and cry. My trigger seems to be that I can't figure out how to keep Lincoln from bugging the living $h!t out of Emi when I'm trying to get her down for a nap. All my old tricks no longer work. iPad next to me. iPad in Emi's crib. The mobile light on the ceiling. Asking nicely. Pining him down with my other leg. Shutting him out of the room. Singing. Putting a show on TV and plopping him on the couch. Feeding him food. Feeding him junk. Asking him to go find something in his room. And after allll that even yelling doesn't work (surprise?) - it only makes him cry really hard, makes me feel bad, and then he starts doing it all over again giggling through tears and I start throwing things in frustration. So, she didn't get a morning nap.

There was peace for a little while because we played outside, but it was windy and Lincoln was FREAKING OUT about the wind blowing his baseball away - which it wasn't, he was stepping on the Tee which kept knocking it off. Thankfully he ate a good lunch. But that didn't make up for the tired.

After one afternoon nap attempt for Emi and an hour of Lincoln crying about his tricycle no longer being in the garage because I put it on the back patio for him to ride, Emi resorted to her desperate tired cry and now they were both crying. I knew nothing was going to stop her from napping now if she got even a few minutes to suckle, so I tried to get her down for her afternoon nap for the second time. (Notice Emi's still been a great baby all day she just didn't get to nap so she wouldn't let me put her down at all.) Lincoln was sobbing so hard over I don't even know what except that I wouldn't let him have the ipad because he's too loud with it and he decided not to read Kippy Koala like he picked when I told him he could read a book in my bed. Finally, he wanted "mama, hold me" and wrapped his arms around my neck while I was nursing Emi and asked me to sing "Grandma" which I don't know what was but I know it's not you are my sunshine (more tears for not knowing) and then finally he opted for "Ariel" which I assumed was Part of Your World. So that's what I sang and at 3:30 they were both asleep with me in the middle. THANK GOD. So I took this picture to pretend to portray that life is peaceful and green and that I'm really all put together.

Of course when Lincoln woke up he cried inconsolably for about 30 minutes. What finally stopped the crying was Dinosaur Train on Netflix. He watched a few of those while not eating his dinner on the couch. Then he took a bath. He finally ate his dinner at 8:00 the first time I tried to get Emi down for bed and I was so happy that it was quiet and I got to do it without him jumping and kicking and giggling. I came out and gave Lincoln a big hug and told him I was so impressed he ate his whole dinner. And then she started crying and the jumping, the kicking, and the giggling all started again because he's quick to get on my bed and wake her up. Yup, putting her down for bedtime took two tries. 30 minutes of books, singing, and more boobs didn't work and ultimately I had to let her cry herself to sleep. because Lincoln needed to get in bed and it was way after 9:00. He climbed out of bed only once. And I'm not in bed yet because I'm drinking a glass of wine. Yes, I opened a bottle of wine for myself. If you know me you know that I don't do that. Ever. So I am sitting here in the dark and the quiet with my glass and waiting for my ears to stop ringing.

My favorite part about the end of the day is that tomorrow is a fresh start.