7 Quick Takes: Vol. 9

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I really have mixed political opinions and I'm not educated or in-the-know enough to have much of an opinion about what needs to change - but I just have to say this shutdown sucks for the real people out there. We were already prepared to have a huge cut in our monthly income due to my "maternity leave" from drill. But now that drill has been cancelled for this weekend we've lost 20% of our monthly income. It hurts people, it hurts. And that's thankfully not our primary or only source of income. Many people we know were sent home with 30 minutes notice and no return date. SUCK.

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This week brought more babies (boys) into the world! I'm so happy for my friends and the amazing women who brought this handful of boys into the world. Some of their moms I know personally and some I've found through the blog-community. It's been just as fun to follow their pregnancies as it was to document mine. I love birth stories, I've got my application to a midwifery program nearly completed, so I find myself very curious as to why sometimes things happen the way they do and I wonder how I will be able to affect future moms and babies. Will I know when it's out of my hands? Will my "it's natural. it'll all be ok" attitude make me a judger when someone has a c-section? Will I feel that decisions were made with all the information??  I'm so ready to start learning because I feel that I have this missing gap in my knowledge which is making me irritable.

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Speaking of gaps in knowledge and babies and pregnancies... I'm 2 weeks post-partum. I feel normal, I feel happy, I love my family... but I'm very very torn. And I know I don't have to have an answer, but I have my follow up in 3 weeks. My doctor says I need to come with 3 things: 1. The baby 2. A picture of the baby and 3. A plan for birth control... I've loved being free the last 3+ years to use natural family planning methods and breastfeeding for child spacing, but what if we're done? In many ways I feel like we are or like we should be, but then I read my friend Cassie's blog as she documents her first pregnancy and I just want to cry that these moments might be over for me. I thought I would know when my family was complete (I said it was after Emi was born), but now I don't know if it is or if it isn't.... and maybe it's just too soon to know since all she does is sleep still. I don't really know what balancing 2 kids is like much less imagining adding a 3rd or more. I'm a firm believer in the knowledge that NFP gives women and couples, but I'm not afraid to admit that I'm human and I have human weaknesses that extend into questioning how to potentially not have any more children.

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I wanted to CRY tonight when I walked into the bathroom after Lincoln's bath. The story goes, I drained the tub (our big master bathtub), got him out and wrapped him in a towel. Then I realized I didn't have a night diaper or pajamas for him so I went into his room and got some. I came back to the bathroom and walked in on him casually putting deodorant under his arms. I'm absolutely freaking for serious. Lincoln got Joe's deodorant, took the cap off, put it under his "pits" (yes, yes he says pits and that's what he told me when he saw me come back in), and the put the cap on and put it in the drawer and shut the drawer. He's 2! What 2 year old does that?!? It was SO flipping cute I started laughing and nearly crying. What does that say about Joe's and my bathroom habits that he's been watching?

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Swaddling is worth it's weight in gold. This one can stay big and bold because I mean it. Emi LOVES being swaddled. I've used the cotton velcro swaddlers but she gets her arms out easy so I love love love the A+A ones. I've said it before and I'm saying it again because they're a life saver for getting good sleep and being able to put her down in her swing during the day. Nice and tight.

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I guess I forgot to mention this was my first week by myself with 2 kiddos. All I've realized so far is that I suck at dinner without Joe and Lincoln only wants to eat Bran Flakes. I've tried shaking it up a big, but I can stare into a full pantry for 5 or 10 minutes and get NO ideas. I even know in the back of my head that other moms out there on the internet have done all the hard work for me and I just have to pick a "recipe" from their creatively designed websites for feeding toddlers and I can't even do that. I've lost my food groove and I have an increasingly picky toddler.... help! Dinner for just me and a 2 year old isn't fun. I think that's why breakfast is still my favorite meal

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I have a new guilty pleasure TV show. Private Practice. So not a new show but I love Netflix and I love snuggling with Emi in bed and just letting it play. I really kind of like the characters and I kind of love Paul Adelstein. I loved him on Prison Break too. I don't know why, I just do... it's only a 6 season show so I guess we'll see if I've finished by next week. I have to monitor myself or I will be done by next week. Then I need to catch up on Madmen, Glee, HIMYM with Joe, and Criminal Minds... maybe I'll even go back to Grey's Anatomy just to say I know what's going on. I don't. I haven't watched it since I was in Iraq and even then I was intermittently watching the seasons already on DVD. Or not... once school starts TV will be a thing of the past.

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