What 4 years of marriage is teaching me (7QT)

I'm gonna go for a tripple whammy post on this one. It's "Friday" not anymore, but I had so much school work to do it feels like Friday, so I'm writing about marriage and linking up with Amanda and Jen! BOOM.

1.

On August 28th, Joe and I celebrated 4 years of marriage! WOW. We were married in the Chapel of St. Ignatius at Seattle University. It was a beautiful day. If you want the read the whole story, hop on over and catch up on Our love story.

 

2.

4 years of marriage has taught me that you don't know how you will feel tomorrow, or next month, or next year. I don't mean this in a bad way, but what I mean is that love expresses itself in different ways at different times and marriage has seasons that change and come back around again. Each has something to teach us so that we may grow.

 

3.

Making your vows is a huge leap of faith, vowing to be together for as long as you both shall live. I had no idea my faith would be tested by marriage. I know that when Joe and I first got married, I panicked. I called my mom crying after Joe moved back to the states and I was alone in Germany "What have I done? I'm stuck." I won't say I haven't panicked again at points throughout the last 4 years. I have felt a whole gambit of emotions from "Who are you?" to "How can you love me? I'm not good enough" to "I am happier today than I was the day we met" and "How can 4 years have passed? It seems like yesterday we were just talking..." Really, it does seem like it was just yesterday. And even during those "What have I done?" moments, I recall our vows and the relationship that led up to them, and it's easy to see how we were really kind of meant to be.

 

4.

I have learned that marriage is supposed to make you holy, not happy. I find that when things are difficult, I see God's intent for my own holiness more. Once I embrace what is difficult, the happy follows. Not just bubbly feelings of happiness, but true contented happiness. The biggest challenge for me has been blending our family. I find myself most often struggling with the needs of the others who have to be considered. There's a reason for that too in my marriage - it comes back to becoming more holy, more of an example of Christ's love for us all.

 

5.

Marriage has taught me how wonderful it is to share true self-giving love with someone. Even when called to periods of chastity, the sacrifice shows love.

 

6.

Here's a picture just because:

7.

4 years. 3 states. 2 kids. 1 dog. and 0 regrets.

7 Quick Takes with lots of pictures of our recent adventures in Arizona

Woohoo!! It's Friday. I always forget that means it is not Joe's last day of work and Lincoln doesn't go to pre-school tomorrow, so I get NO schoolwork done during the day. *sigh*. Anyway, linking up with Jen for 7 Quick Takes Friday!!!

1.

These last few weeks have been rough. I cried a lot. Not because anything happened to us, but a dear friend lost a baby, and another best friend was hospitalized for suspected bacterial meningitis (which has nearly a 1 in 2 mortality rate). She's 7 months pregnant, and I seriously thought they were both going to die. (They didn't. It was the other kind of meningitis, which isn't as bad). So, yes, LOTS of tears these past weeks. Not to mention the tragedies plaguing the rest of the world. I can't even read the news or look at headlines, I just feel hopeless and angry and sad. Then I feel dumb that I want to whine about feeling "stuck" in Phoenix when there are clearly worse things out there. So instead of wishing I were somewhere else, I'm trying to re-frame my thoughts and feelings with a more appreciate perspective of what I have.

2.

A few weekends ago we went to Prescott, Arizona. It's not very far away, but it's not as hot, it has trees and grass, and a lot of Phoenicians like to retire up there. It's a cowboy town. Lincoln had his first root beer float at The Palace on Whiskey Row.



I took my camera with me on our "bear hunt" and shot a whole ton of photos in RAW without thinking about the space they were eating up on my card. But I got these two:





3.

Last weekend we drove down to Tucson, Arizona to meet up with a friend who was in town at U of A. We hung out by ourselves for the afternoon and met up for a quick dinner before heading home. We started out at the San Xavier Mission. We had a picnic lunch outside and enjoyed a cloudy 93 degree reprieve. Yes, it was "cool" comparatively. The clouds also helped a ton.







4.

I like these weekend road trips because kiddos sleep and just chill, Joe drives, and I read school books. It's a great way to get out and get stuff done at the same time. On the way down, I was reading and trying to catch up on a few chapters to help me understand the material for an upcoming online chat about politics and policy. I got 2 chapters done just as we are arriving at the mission. We were in the gift shop and I saw a basket of the saint medals. I casually picked one up to see who it was, and behold, in my hand was Saint Raymond Nonnatus, patron saint of midwives, pregnancy, and childbirth. Obviously it was meant to be. He's mine now.



5.

Next, we went to the Titan Missile Museum. My Aunt Kathy informed me that my grandfather used to work for a company that made parts of the Titan missiles back in the 60's. I had no idea, so I thought that was pretty cool. We went down underground and got to do a mock missile launch and then see the Titan II missile. It is the only remaining site of all the missile sites that were across the country.

 



6.

Back in Phoenix, we've been enjoying a lovely amount of rain. I've been trying to clean out some stuff. Most of it is happening in my head first, but I'm getting there. Today I put my focus outside so that when the cool weather comes we can enjoy it. Lincoln has been outside hitting balls all the time, hot or not. That kid can hit a ball clean off a tee. He's really into it. It's hard to believe he's almost 3 and is a KID.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/vW7PUxtf-vo][youtube=http://youtu.be/5J5LWdzwYnI]

7.

And the most positive note of all after a very long week of Emi being sick is that she's not sick anymore!!! The smell of vomit and diarrhea is slowly starting to fade from her room and the living room. Hopefully I won't have to wash her carseat, her crib bedding, her rocking chair, the carpet, or us anymore than usual for quite awhile! Happy weekend!

 

More quick takes over at conversiondiary.com

7 Quick Takes in which a book, Texas, and God are good

Happy Quick Takes Friday!

1

On my way to and from Edel, I had the chance to read Jen Fulwiler's book, Something Other Than God.


I should have bought it in print so I could have a signed copy, but I'm that instant gratification kind of person and I wanted to start reading it NOW, so I did the easy Kindle 1-click purchase and had started reading it a few weeks before. I spent most of the time nodding my head in agreement and I'm sure the young kid next to me on the return flight wondered who this crazy breast-feeding lady was who kept making animated gestures with her head in silence so as not to wake the sleeping-so-soundly-on-the-boob-on-the-plane baby.

2

I have always had a soft spot for Texas. I've driven through Amarillo three times now on cross-country roads trips. (WA to OK, WA to TX, and AZ to FL) Edel was my first trip to Austin, but I've always had fond memories of San Antonio which isn't too far away. Something about being in Texas has always felt comfortable to me. Which is a wonderful feeling to have considering how uncomfortable I still feel here in Phoenix. Even if I felt like Phoenix was home before, the BS of the past week has raised the question AGAIN, what are we going to do about it? And by it I mean any number of things that are driving us nuts around here from the shenanigans on the department, to the outrageous delegations of Joe at the unit, to the harsh reality that very little has changed with B since we came back from Florida, to the $200 water bill when our water doesn't go below 106 degrees and I have to put ice in the kids 6:30pm bath water (yes, I've done that). When I came back from Edel, I told Joe I wanted to go to San Antonio. I even started the application process, but it was stopped because Joe was getting released from service in November. Red flag.

3

But, the Major board results were released last week. Joe was on it. His orders arrived a few days later, back dated to over a month ago! Woohoo! He made it. We are still waiting for all the systems to catch up and tell him that he is no longer getting kicked out in a few months. Happy Birthday to Joe (whose 43rd birthday is TODAY!)

4

When Joe came back from drill last weekend, we had a serious discussion about the pros and cons of staying here in Phoenix for a few more years or for good. After the Saturday stress of Joe being at drill and me having a 10 page paper due that took all day to write, I thought "something has to change." I had to drive 50 miles across town to take the kids to G&G's house. I went to the library where I stayed in a study room as long as I could, then had lunch with the kids back at the house. Lincoln wanted to be with me, he wanted to go to the library, so we all trekked to library where I sneaked back into a study room and stayed until the library closed. By then G&G were just exhausted and I wasn't done. I took the kids to Joe's hotel and told him he had to help me. He and Mike took the kids to dinner and I sat up in their room finishing. They came back with food for me and the kids took a bath in the hotel tub. I'm a "prepper", so I had a bag in the car with a pair of pajamas for each. Lincoln whined and whined and whined the closer and closer and closer I got to submitting my paper. I submitted it at 8:17 -38 minutes before the deadline. I drove back home, 50 miles, with a splitting headache. Let's not do this again. Something has to change.

The first things I thought of were: Move to San Antonio. Work on my papers a little sooner. Move to the east side closer to drill and closer to G&G. Perhaps only one of those makes the most sense....

5

So when I finished Something Other Than God, I thought back to this part:

"I came up with a specific list: We'd need a refrigerator, a lawn mower, a washer/dryer, and a bed. A coffee table and a couch for the second family room upstairs would be helpful, too. And we could afford none of those things...

Okay, God, that's what we need...I assume that if we need them, you'll show us how to get them. If you don't, I'll assume we don't really need them.

That night at dinner, we told my mom about the house... she thought for a moment, then looked up from her plate.

"You know, if you do get this house, could I give you my refrigerator?"

...

The next morning, Joe sent me an email saying that Allan called... he planned to leave us his lawn mower, weed eater, and leaf blower.

...

A few hours later, the phone rang... I knew it was my dad calling from Abu Dhabi.

"I got offered a job a little closer to home... oh, by they way, this apartment is furnished, and I have a bunch of stuff in storage that I don't know what to do with." He asked me if I had any use for a series of items, which included a washer/dryer, a couch, a bed, and a coffee table."

6

I thought about this part as I sat in the dark rocking and nursing Emi to sleep with my massive headache. I had looked at real estate all over the country lately. Texas, Washington, Florida, New York. Everywhere has pros and cons - we have our list of priorities, but the jobs are competitive, and I have to go somewhere I can be successful in school. Arizona has perks too. But whether we stay here, move to the east side, go on a mobilization, etc; there are things that kind of have to come first. I sat and rocked and made my own list with God:

Okay, God, we can't go anywhere or do anything until we get out of debt. We can't get financing for a new house, we can't be secure in renting this house, we can't be secure that the rental house won't need some major repair. We need to get out of debt...

7

I sh*t you not, Joe went to get the mail a few days later. He opened up two envelopes. Each contained an adjusted sum of money for a service member's relief program on the rental mortgage. He says my face turned red and my eyes got huge. Huge not just because it was enough to wipe out more than one of our largest debts, but huge because, God, we JUST talked about this!!

I am so hopeful now that we can get out from the under the rest soon and see where it is we are being called to go. Texas, maybe?? Florida? Maybe just a different precinct? I'm trying to trust that we will be ushered though these doors that appear open if we are meant to go. The impatient part of me says I'm ready, NOW! But, like they say in the military, hurry up and wait.

Happy weekend!

7 Quick Takes in which I spy a year gone by, black bananas, and a 10 page paper I didn't know I had

Welcome to another week of 7 Quick Takes!

1

It's August 1st!! 1 year ago today I took a plane ride from Tampa to Phoenix with an 8 month pregnant belly, an almost 2-year-old boy, and a dog all by myself. I was sad to leave Florida, but I was very excited to come back to our home here in Phoenix. We lived without our furniture for almost a month, eating off a card table and sleeping in B's old full-sized bed (horrible, horrible bed = really sore back). The weather was frying pan hot (114-116 degrees) and the AC in my car was broken, which I learned the hard way by driving 50 miles out east and driving home into the sun in the afternoon. Dumb. If we don't move within this calendar year than my "moved every year since 2002" streak will be over. Bring on the boxes. Where are we going next?!

2

I actually don't know where we are going next, if we are even going anywhere at all. After my weekend in Austin, I'll tell you, I want to go to Texas. But, we did get some good news yesterday. Joe made the Major list! I would love for them to publish promotion orders in time for him to get promoted at drill this weekend! We've been waiting for this for so long I am impatient at the idea of waiting any longer - and I'm not even the one getting promoted!

3

I was lucky enough to see Emily, Shawn, and Conner last Sunday and I got to see their house in San Antonio. Just driving around Texas and their neighborhood made me feel more at home there than here. I kinda love Texas, but hat is a whole different topic. Conner is my godson. He just turned 2 in May and he is going to be a big brother come October. When Emi was born, Lincoln got a quilt from my grandma called an "I spy" quilt. It's perfect for so many things. You can play games like "I spy... a tiger" and simply point. Or you can go as far as "put your hand on the tiger. Put your foot on the monkey". Joe also came up with matching animal figures with the pictures on his quilt like "put the panda on panda". It's been so neat. My mom came up with her own take on the quilt in the form of her flannel and denim quilts that I LOVE to take outdoors since denim is so durable. I commissioned one from her for Conner and his baby brother. Emi tested it out and found it worthy of snuggling repeatedly.

4

Fueled by post-Edel energy, I began the week with Lincoln throwing up (and taking a 4 hour nap in the middle of the day) followed by Emi having a fever the next day and getting a stuff nose (=more wake ups at night). Ah, motherhood. So, now I've burned through my energy and I'm just tired. I had my first presentation on the differences on the position of the ACNM and the AGOG on Hydrotherapy in labor. (Boy, they're different, that's for sure.) And despite front loading every assignment, I'm playing catch up on the school-work I somehow managed to get behind on after taking the weekend off. SO.MUCH.READING. I keep falling asleep in Lincoln's room at night often waking up over an hour later. I looked at my calendar a few days ago and saw an assignment that is due tomorrow night. I started working on it casually because I thought it was a mere fill-in-the-heading kind of thing... Apparently it's a paper and the Frontier class Facebook feed is indicating that it is taking 10+ hours and 10+ pages to complete including upwards of 3 pages of references. I've been staring at it now lost. just lost. what? I'll figure it out later while running on the caffeinated effects of Dr. Pepper. I always do my best work under pressure (or so I'm telling myself).

5

I waited for these bananas to go BLACK so I could make banana bread. I am so glad Joe didn't throw them away while I was gone because they were overripe last week, but just not quite enough. I love having Lincoln help in the kitchen now. He is at that age where pouring a teaspoon into the mixer is thrilling and he's careful enough that he doesn't spill it. I like to put my banana bread in the toaster and then melt butter on it. What do you like with your banana bread?



 

6

In my attempt to install those cheap and "easy" cabinet locks for babyproofing, I managed to break three drill bits. THREE!! On all of them, the bit decided to stop spinning from the base and one of them even snapped leaving the bit lodged in the cabinet frame. GRRRR. Maple cabinets can't be THAT HARD! I blame the heat in our garage for denaturing EVERYTHING. We need a basement or just some more practical storage! I *may* have used some exasperated language in my frustration and sweet Lincoln just kept saying, "Awww, I'm sorry, Mommy." Now I need new drill bits. (yes, the drill bits are mine. I'm the power tool happy person in our household even if I sometimes need Joe for manly strength).

7

It's, monsoon season!!! I love love love thunderstorms and desert rain. The lightning is unbelievably amazing. It even cools off the days so the point of being a bearable 99 degrees (like today). I woke up last night having fallen asleep in Lincoln's room, again, and it was pouring rain. We get lots of flash flooding alerts on our phones. I was able to open the window next to me so I could listen. I've even started to love the smell of the desert when it rains. There is nothing else like it.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="680"] Photo source: http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2014/07/27/metro-phoenix-storms/13238085/[/caption]

Happy weekend!! Check out more blogger's quick takes at Jen's!

7 Quick Takes about graduate school, balancing the workload, and how I'm getting it all done

It's been awhile since I've done a Quick Takes. I figured since I started school, people might be wondering how it's going...

1.

Lemme tell ya, it's not going like I initially imagined at all. There is a TON of reading for each class and I am taking three classes. Not only that, but Joe was sent short notice on AT (Annual Training) and has been gone since the day before the first day of class. So, I have been balancing kids, house, and school by myself. Oh, who am I kidding; kids, school, and THEN house. Haha. I've been really good at keeping up with the house, though by the pictures I will show you, you may not believe me. It's one of those things where I have SO much school to do when I have alone time that when I can't be doing school, I do everything else. Kudos to the moms and dads who balance it all every day as single parents. It's definitely harder.

2.

So, how am I doing school work while being home with kids full-time? Like this:

 

How am I keeping them entertained? Like this:





How am I feeding them? Like this:



Serious low point when my kids are eating Cheerios out a box on the living room floor? I think NOT! It's like a dog toy, it was stimulating and satisfying. Emi started out in the box, but then it tipped over and Lincoln joined in the feeding frenzy. This was also the same night we went to get Panda Express for dinner... first time going out though, I'm pretty impressed with myself.

 

3.

Why were my kids eating Cheerios out of a box? What could I have possibly been doing to have gotten to that point, you ask? Haha, well, I am one of the lucky attendees at the upcoming Edel Gathering next weekend, and the co-organizer, Hallie, sent me a message about contributing sample product to the goodie bags. I have been a Mary Kay independent beauty consultant for just over 2 years now. I started my business to have fun, meet women, play with cosmetics and skin care, and for the first time in my life, ever, feel beautiful and confident - make-up on or not. Anyhoo, I spent Wednesday organizing, assembly-lining, and putting together all the bags. It took about 6 hours between baby napping, trashing the house to distract the kids, and ultimately feeding them Cheerios from a box on the living room floor. Then the post office's 24-hour machine was broken... but since were out of the house we went to Panda!

 

4.

228 bags filled an entire laundry basket, utilized my entire sample inventory and then some, and condensed down into a large and a medium flat rate box. Never have I ever printed so intentionally and double checked so carefully that I wrote an address correctly as I did Jen's. Like, seriously, I sent two flat rate boxes for the Edel Gathering to Jen. YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS THAT UP!! So, Jen, I hope those boxes get to you :D Whew.



5.

I took full advantage of the process to do school work at the same time! I am by no means a multi-tasker any more. I like to do one thing at a time, for the most part. But aside from all the reading, there is a substantial amount of video watching! I LOVE videos. I am absolutely a visual learner, so I turned on the laptop and made a ton of progress on learning about plagiarism, paraphrasing, the writing process, and health disparities and wealth. Go me.



6.

Needless to say, the amount of time they told us school would take (50 hours a week) is not an understatement. With Edel coming up, I am front loading all the graded assignments that are due next Friday, and there is still so.much.reading!! I am going to bed between midnight and 1 am, getting between 4 and 5 hours of sleep a night - and not always without interruptions. Therefore, I need all the hours I can get at night, so I officially moved wee beastie bedtime to 8pm. Emi is always ready; Lincoln not so much. But he has been so understanding it makes me so proud and breaks my heart at the same time. He asked me today when I picked him up from preschool, "Mama, did you read your school books?"

A few nights ago he asked me if he could sit up in bed and read a book with his light. I told him it was OK as long as he put the book down and laid down on his pillow when his twilight turtle turned off. I asked him what song he wanted me to sing before I left because I had to go do schoolwork. He asked me, "are you going out to the living room?" I told him I was but that he could pick a song for me to sing and I'd sing it and cuddle with him first. Then he pushed me!! He pushed me to get out of his room and told me, "you need to go do school." I slowly got up and sort of backed out of his room like, "oh, ok.... well, uh.... I guess, good night?... I love you... I'll see you tomorrow?" Then I shut his door and he put himself to sleep.

 

7.

Lincoln is doing well with preschool. He cries at drop off and then cries when I come to get him, but I've seen him before he sees me and he's totally fine. He tells me all about it in the car, like yesterday, "The animal zoo was at my preschool! I saw a toooortoise and a hedgehog... he was so cute (squeaky voice), he was this big (cups his hands). and a snaaaake..." and low and behold I read his report later and the wildlife zoo had indeed come to his classroom. "I did puuuuuzles. I did a birthday one and a lady bug one..." He talks non-stop about his teacher and asks every night and every morning, "Is preschool closed?" He's always glad to come home and glad to hold my hand, but I think he's having fun and integrating juuuust fine. Today he told me his favorite thing to do was art.



 

7 Quick Takes about Interviewing 2 year olds, starting school, and a nursery sneak peak

1
Wow. It's May. The month that I thought would be so far away is here and I start school NOW. Actually, I'm already doing school work. I have a course to finish in the quiet hours between bedtime and Joe getting home each day. I'm already finding myself anxious, craving knowledge, and unsure how to get organized. My first mistake was a time zone miscalculation when I was supposed to have an introductory call with my advisor. She's on Mountain, I'm on Pacific. I was 30 minutes late thinking I still had 30 minutes to go, but this overwhelming sense struck me and I sat up with a gasp, looked at the clock and reassured myself, and then looked at my phone to see an e-mail "I've been waiting for your call..." well, CRAP! But, thanks God, for the poke. I at least didn't miss the whole thing. Not how I wanted my first impression to come off. 2 more weeks until Frontier Bound! My first trip *by myself* since kiddos were born.

2
Every day I look at myself in the mirror and I feel like, "yup, I was born to be a midwife". I hope I feel like that I go through school and it becomes a reality, but I think it's pretty safe to bet that this is my calling when the coolest thing I think I've ever seen is called The Great Sperm Race.

There are 6 10 minute parts, and it's worth watching the whole thing. I totally almost cried at the end....

3
Lincoln turned 2 years, 7 months and I didn't do anything so today I interviewed him and the video won't load. Boo.

 

I should have asked him to tell me about baseball because it's the first thing he asks for in the mornings, but he wasn't really paying attention after the first 2 minutes. 

4
We painted Emi's room. *FINALLY*. She came back to sleep with us for a few days even though we used Harmony pain from Sherwin Williams. We chose Verbena and painted it in a day. She's back in there now and I'm decorating slowly. only 4 more rooms to paint and then we're done - just in time to move?? Yeah, hopefully not this year, but I'm getting squirrely.

5
We had some fun impromptu backyard plant transplanting. It'd be awesome if it worked so we fill the holes without buying anything new.

6
Poor Lincoln was sick last week. He told me he didn't feel good and then spent the day throwing up. He's been reallly whiny, starting to act out negatively for my attention, wakes up horribly in the morning, etc. so I didn't believe him when he wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle all while repeating "I no feel good"

7. It's getting hot in Phoenix. I got out the kiddie pool and filled it up to pass our days away. We need to start getting to the splash pads and the big pool too, but sometimes it just nice to splash in your own backyard. I heard the high temp today was supposed to be 102. I never checked for sure, but it was hot and it's probably not going to be nice again until November. This is when I get squirrely and think, "GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!"

7 Quick Takes about putting candy in your nose, scary peacocks, and the things spring brings

This is seriously the last three weeks of quick takes just sitting in my drafts so highlights from the last three weeks are:

[1]
I had my first "Oh $h!t! What do I do?!?!" moment. I was nursing Emi in the bedroom with Lincoln on the couch watching Dinosaur Train. He had his lunch, but nothing concerning on the plate. A few minutes later, I start to hear whining and "Mama… Mama…" I think to myself, "well, he's not choking because he's crying, but that kid better not come in here and wake this baby up. I better get up and see what the problem is." So I break latch and leave Emi crying to head out to the living room and see why Lincoln is crying. Upon my entering the room he says, "Mama, candy up my nose" with his finger dug up his right nostril. You've got to be kidding me!!! So, earlier in the day, I gave Lincoln a lemonhead for peeing in the potty. He put it half consumed in a basket on the couch, which I half noticed and thought nothing else of the rest of the day. Until then. I couldn't see a thing. I, of course, immediately consulted Facebook. I would have just called the pediatrician, but It was SUNDAY. Joe was close to but not quite on his way home from the unit and Emi had JUST fallen asleep for her afternoon nap. I didn't want to wake her up to take them both to the ER and wait forever. I also didn't want to spend $100 for them to tell me that it wasn't there if I could just wait a day and call the pediatrician in the morning to have him just take a quick peek. A friend of mine from high school, who now lives in Glendale while going to medical school at UofA in Phoenix, called me and came over for some assessment/moral support/I-haven't-seen-you-since-2002-no-day-like-today-catching-up. Lincoln kept telling us there was candy up his nose and it was always the right side, but he was playing and laughing, and his passage was unobstructed. He only cried saying, "have candy back!" Seriously, Lincoln, you're not getting another lemon head, ever. We never took him in determining that a lemonhead, being a sugar-based candy and already half consumed, would likely be engulfed in copious  nasal fluids and dissolve. This rational was supported by my dad, the ENT. So far, nothing has come of it…. I was also told after that fact that if you blow in their mouth quickly you can often get whatever it is out. I wish I'd know that earlier and I will try it next time *knock on wood there is no next time*

[2]
I got my acceptance to Frontier Nursing University's doctorate program for nurse midwifery. I begin May 19th and I already have 2 pre-courses to finish, tuition to pay, GI bill to figure out, and plane tickets to buy for the on-campus orientation weekend. I applied for part-time study but I think I might talk about just going full-time from the beginning. I'm really excited but I'm also really nervous. I'm nervous about the balance of school and kids, I'm nervous about the responsibility of being a midwife, and I'm nervous about what kind of jobs I can get out there. Phoenix doesn't seem very friendly, but I've already seen a ton of jobs in Seattle and Tampa areas. Or get back on Active Duty. Part of me thinks maybe I'm just crazy, but I know it's the only thing I've ever really wanted to do with a passion. I thought I wanted to be an OB/GYN growing up, but now that I've gone through nursing school and seen the difference between the nursing and the medical models and I've come to realize how "crunchy" I can be, I know midwifery fits me really well. I'm so excited for what I will learn but I know it's going to change our lives dramatically as I go from full-time mom with nights free to blog to full-time student who has to learn how to write a paper again.

[3]
Spring Training is SO FUN! I love Spring Training because it's so much more up close and personal, the tickets are cheap, the weather is amazing, and it's so close to home. Lincoln loved sitting in his chair yelling "GOOD HIT!" He seemed genuinely interested in the game. I hope we make it to a few more before it's over!

[4]
We love the zoo so much that Lincoln talks non-stop about the Animal Zoo. Last week we went on a whim and saw some of the new Safari Park but not enough of it because we missed the lions. But Lincoln wore his tiger shirt by the tigers and we hung out. We were actually still meandering our way out as it closed and had to go under some ropes. Oops. But the funniest thing happened that Lincoln is still talking about weeks later. A peacock jumped up onto a pole and then flew to the ground right in front of him scaring the living daylights out of him. Of course I was only 10 feet away and it flew right between us. He cried and his whole body shook "maaammaaa, peacock scared meeeeeee!!!!". He got over it only to have a duck do the same thing maybe 10 minutes later. The poor kid came home and Voxed Gramma that a peacock scared him at the Animal Zoo and "Lincoln cried." I love the all white peacocks. There are quite a few peacocks and they after closing they're everywhere.  There must be some new babies too that I can't wait to go see because I tried to look through the door at the nursery and there was a pack 'n play with a heat lamp and it looked like 2 kittens climbing on each other.

[5]
Lincoln decided to start peeing standing up. Not sure where it came from because I never suggested it, but he likes it much better than sitting. He seems so mature lately, I realize he's in his 3rd year and that's where I forget sometimes that he's really only 2, but there's a big difference between the first 1/2 of 2 ad the second 1/2 of 2. Not only that, he and 4-year old Blake had a BLAST all night and it was ridiculous how I saw a little boy that I'd never seen before. He could have been 4 for all I could tell they played so well together. I feel really bad that he hasn't been in social situations like this for so long. In groups he's slow to warm up and he plays by himself- which is normal I know, but one or two kids and he's holding full-sentence conversations and engaging in interactive play! We have our moms groups, but those are organized play dates. Today was the beginnings of what will maybe turn into a babysitting co-op. I started tonight with Blake (4) and Lily(2) at our house and Lincoln and Emi are going to their house tomorrow afternoon.  I don't what know what I want to do with myself other than go to evening mass and sit and reflect and spend some time in silence. SILENCE, you guys!! Golden. I can't wait for Chicago next next weekend to see him with Chloe and Sophie. He talks about his friends all the time now and it's so relieving to feel like we really have some here in the neighborhood, finally.

[6]
Last weekend we went to the air show at Luke AFB and had a blast! It was heaven for Joe and Lincoln. Joe was so excited to see the new F-35. The stunts some of the planes to makes your heart stop thinking there's no way that isn't falling out of the sky and crashing right now. Lincoln got a commemerative coin that he talks about all the time and he tells me he will "keep it safe". Both kids did great all day long. I gave Emi her 3rd bottle ever and she almost willingly took all of it. We met up with friends and hung out under the big KC10 and C-17 in the shade. Emi loved looking around. Lincoln even got to go inside. We stayed all day and saw the Thunderbirds (AF version of Blue Angels) at the end of the show and it was amazing - the precision of the stunts and formations they do is impressive.

[7]
Oh, and I bought Frozen yesterday and I haven't watched it. I seriously thought about watching it alone after the kids were in bed as "me time", but I want to watch it with Joe and Lincoln because it's suppose to be SOOO good. I honestly know NOTHING about the story, I just know I recognized Idina Menzel a mile away the first time I heard Let It Go. I hope we can watch it SOON or I'm going to crack.

For more coherent quick takes, visit Jen at conversion diary!